31 Days of Halloween (Day 31) - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

What better way to celebrate the big day, than with the most underrated film in the Halloween series. Yes, Halloween III, the only film I know of to feature murderous druids using Halloween masks to enact a mass sacrifice of America's children. Fun!

Before getting into that, a little announcement: starting Monday and going through all of November, The Last Great Roadshow will be devoted to film noir. Yep, it's time for Noir November. Each day, I'll check out a noir film, from the most well-known to the most obscure.

Now, on to Halloween III!

The movie drops the audience right into the action. It is October 23rd on a lonely road in California. Harry Grimbridge (Al Berry) is running for his life, pursued by two men in a car. He kills one, evades the other and stumbles into a filling station, clutching a Halloween mask and muttering "they're coming." Harry is taken to a hospital where we meet our hero, Dr Challis (Tom Atkins). He's an alcoholic doctor with an ex-wife (Nancy Loomis). Not exactly a matinee idol. A few hours after arriving, a man in a suit (not unlike the man Harry killed) shows up and kills Harry, then immolates himself in his car. It's an effective opening, one that grabs your attention and one that let's you know something is weird and sinister is happening, without spoon-speeding you information.

Later, Challis is approached by into Grimbridge's daughter, Ellie (the yummy, if bland, Stacey Nelkin) and the two of them travel to Santa Mira, home of Silver Shamrock, makers of the mask that Harry had in his hands. Why they do this is not really well established; it's the last place Ellie knows he was and thinks there is something fishy about the company and Challis goes along because...well, she's hot.

This is why parents tell kids not to eat too much candy on Halloween. True story.

Santa Mira is the definition of a company town. Most of the people work for the Silver Shamrock, which is run by Irish immigrant Conel Cochran (Dan O'Herlihy). Surveillance cameras are mounted everywhere, there's a curfew, and men in suits patrol the streets, but no one seems to have a problem with this (well, one guy does, but he comes to a bad end).

Over the course of the film, we find out that Cochran is a late-20th century druid who has a) stolen a megalith from Stonehenge, b) placed microchips made from the stone in each of the masks, c) created a spell that will be broadcast on Halloween (the feast of Samhain, as Cochran points out, when the "barriers are down between the real and unreal") and will cause the wearers head to erupt into a fountain of snakes, insects, and other noxious creatures as part of a sacrifice to the old gods. Oh, and he's also made killer robots that look like people (i.e., the dapper hitmen).

Challis does his best to stop Cochran's plans. He kills Cochran and his underlings and blows up the factory; however, he fails to get all of the TV stations to pull the "big Halloween give-away" which is carrying the signal and the film ends with Challis screaming "stop it" as the ad plays and we fade to black. The end.

I appreciate what the filmmakers tried to do. With the death of Michael Meyers at the end of Halloween II, producers Debra Hill and John Carpenter wanted to create a new film each Halloween, but not limiting it to the increasingly crowded slasher genre. The story, by Nigel Kneale, the man responsible for the Quatermass series (with rewrites by Carpenter and director Tommy Lee Wallace; Kneale was not happy with the amount of violence in the film and had his name removed) is an interesting critique of commercialism, the power of corporations, and growing paranoia (healthy, in this case) in the expanding surveillance society. It also has some neat ideas, particularity the melding of ancient religion and primal magic with cutting edge technology. And, as an apocalypse-film junkie, I like the idea of a quasi-magical disaster, one that is realized, not averted by the last minute heroics.

Stacey Nelkin's only expression...come on crack a smile or something...you're creeping me out!

But, there are a lot of plot holes. While I don't need everything explained to me, I do need some things - like character motivations - made clear. Also, there is one plot point - where Ellie is replaced by an android, which we find out later when she attacks Challis - that makes no sense at all and was obviously put in just to give the audience a last little jump. It fits in with the theme of tricks being played (Cochran says his murderous plan is, in part, "a trick on the children") but is so nonsensical it greatly detracts from the film.

The acting is uneven. I like Atkins; although his motivation is a weak, he does make for a believable reluctant hero. O'Herlihey seems to be enjoying his part, effectively mixing joviality with a sinister undertone. Nelkin, however, doesn;t have much range, coming across as a blank slate. And none of the other characters make an impression.

The effects are in general good - there are some nice gore effects including a well-done decapitation - although there are some weak one's as well. The direction by Tommy Lee Wallace is adequate, with some standout night photography that effectively creates tension and has a rich depth of field (the result, I assume of DP extraordinaire Dean Cundey). The score by John Carpenter is great (assuming you like Carpenter's music, which I do).

Apparently, Tom Atkins really doesn't like telemarketers. Calm down man, they gotta eat too.

It is in the terms of story and plot that the film has it's faults. There are numerous moments - particularly in the third act - when you really, REALLY have to suspend disbelief. A few are addressed in the film. My favorite occurs when Cochran is monloguing to Challis about his plans while standing in front of the Stonehenge megalith, telling him that he "wouldn't believe how" they got the stone to the US. It's a clever moment; this throw-away line hints at greater forces at work behind the story we are being told. However, for every smart bit of writing like that, there are a lot of other plot points that make no sense. How can Cochran create lifelike androids in a run down factory in Northern California? Why are technicians still chipping off pieces of Stonehenge hours before the signal is going to be broadcast? The final scene, with Challis trying to get the signal pulled from air, makes no sense. Who is he even talking too? Someone who can get a commercial pulled nationally off of every channel...except one, of course. Cochran has one of his androids kill a pathologist (Teddy played by Wendy Wessberg) who is working with Challis and discovers that the hospital assassin was an android. Why does eh do this? In a few hours, every kid who has a Silver Shamrock mask on is going to have his or her head burst open in a shower of snakes and crickets. Won't that be enough to have the US Air Force bombing Santa Mira out of existence the next day? And these are only some of the problems with the story.

In the end, with the numerous problems of story and character development and motivation, is Halloween III a movie worth watching? Yes, it is. The film is still engaging and there is a real sense of danger. There are a lot of fun and interesting ideas, even if they are not all fully realized or adequately integrated into the story. And the movie does get points for trying something different, a techno-magical apocalypse, one that does not have a happy ending. Released into a sea of slasher films, this was a bit of a gamble, one that unfortunately didn't pay off as Halloween 4 would see the return of Mike Meyers.

Finally, as my own little trick, watch the video below and see if you can ever get rid of the Silver Shamrock advert jingle once you hear it. And...Happy Halloween!!!!!!!

31 Days of Halloween (Day 30) - The Church AKA Demons 3 AKA WTF?

In 1985, Lamberto Bava showed that Italian horror films were still capable of kicking you in the teeth with the surreal demonic possession splatter flick Demons. Set in a West Berlin cinema, Demons has a group of filmgoers being slaughtered by an ever increasing number of demonic creatures, possibly generated by the film being show. It doesn't make any sense, but it does have a lot of arresting images and a breakneck pace. Demons 2 is closely related, showing what happens to a hermetically sealed apartment complex when a demon emerges from a TV set and starts infecting people with it's evil. While not as good as the original, it is still pretty neat.

This kind of thing is never good.

The Church, officially is a sequel, but has nothing to do with the first two films, except for dealing with demons. Starting in the Middle Ages with a group of Teutonic Knights butchering a coven of witches, the film quickly moves to the modern day (1989). A church has been built over the mass grave of the witches. While the church is undergoing restoration work, the new church librarian, Evan (Tomas Arana) breaches a seal in the crypt, unleashing the evil trapped underneath.

The next day a group of members of the restoration team, a bunch of tourists and some fashion photographers and models are trapped in the church. The demons start to possess some of the people - spreading like a disease that causes hallucinations and violent, aberrant behavior - while others are killed off. Unlike the non-stop action of the first two Demons films, The Church builds slowly and never achieves their kinetic fierceness.

The face of evil...a bad trip...or a bit of both?

Finally, Father Gus (Hugh Quarshie whose character has little screen time and no development before the third act, at which point he becomes the hero) figures out a way to collapse the church with a mechanism built into the structure when it was constructed as a fail-safe device. He does so in time to stop the spread of the demonic forces to the outside world. Or does he? There is a predictable twist ending, with the one survivor (Asia Argento) coming back to pay respects to her dead parents and unleashing the evil again. Or something like that. The end.

Although the movie suffers from a weak script, poor characterization and a story that leaves a lot of questions unanswered, it is still a pretty good horror movie. There are some neat images. The demons look cool - a standout is a scene in which art historian Lisa is having sex with a very classic looking devil (reptilian skin, horns, bat wings, horse head). Like many such scenes in the movie, it is weird and lyrical and audacious. Unfortunately, most of the movie is like this; provocative images strung together with a dumb story and weak acting.

It is worth watching, if only to see some the set-pieces and tableaux the creative team came up with. Just don;t expect a story that operates on any level other than dream logic.

Captain America and X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailers

So, we got two new trailers for upcoming Marvel movies. Of the two, Captain America: The Winter Soldier looks more promising. It has the spectacle down - the action looks robust, the hanger of Helicarriers is neat, there are a lot of explosions, which, as we all know, make any movie better - and gives a glimpse of the Falcon. Scarlett is looking hot, Cap is looking like he can kick ass and the story is based on one of the strongest retcons in recent memory. Looking forward to this movie.

And then, X-Men: Days of Future Past. Hmmm...the story is what is going to either save or kill this. It has a good cast and director and it looks appropriately dark. But, the question remains whether they can juggle a lot of characters and successfully tie a bunch of different movies together. Hopefully Singer and company can pull off the same magic they did with X-Men and build on the solid foundation laid by X-Men: First Class.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 29) - A Movie, A Comic, An App, And A Podcast Walk Into A Bar...

Document of the Dead is a documentary about George Romero, focusing on the production of Dawn of the Dead, but also touching on his work before and after. THe majority was filmed during a weekend in 1979 while Dawn was being filmed. If you are a) a Romero fan, b) interested in the making of the original Dawn of the Dead or c) like to learn about the film-making process you'll want to watch this. You get a lot of insight into Romero's production process as well as the working relationship he had with his his long-time production partner Richard Rubinstein, special effects wizard Tom Savini and other members of the cast and crew. The difficulties in securing funding, the technical complexities of making a movie like this (there's some interesting talk about the problems of lighting a huge, open space like a mall), a look at the make-up effects, and Romero's philosophy on shooting and editing are just a few of the things you'll see. Check it out.

Nancy, 1-part attitude, 1-part chainsaw. All parts hot. Nancy in Hell was an impulse purchase. I saw a couple of panels through the preview feature on comiXology. I thought a busty, chainsaw wielding heroine killing demons in Hell looked promising and picked up the four issues. I'm mostly pleased. The art is appealing, a mix of extreme violence and cheesecake shot. Juan Jose Ryp does a great job drawing drawing monsters and chicks...and monster chicks...in the first two issues. Antonio Vasquez takes over for the final two issues and while it's still good, it is a step down from Ryp's work. Many of the concepts that the writer, El Torres, includes are neat and the whole story has a very "drive-in exploitation movie" vibe to it. However, the dialogue is pretty clunky and the ending more confusing than anything else. If you want a violent, over-the-top action/horror comic and can look past dialogue that, at times, reads like something a thirteen-year-old raised on heavy metal music would think sounds deep, than you'll like Nancy in Hell.

Video Watchdog is my favorite movie magazine and has been for decades. It is the best source for in-depth, thoughtful reviews and articles on those genres of cinema I tend to gravitate towards; horror, science-fiction, exploitation and cult movies, as well as foreign films and older movies that are often overlooked by the mainstream film press. Video Watchdog has now moved into the electronic world with a iOS app offering, as well as versions for the PC and Mac platforms. In addition to a great design, the electronic version (complete with embedded videos and links) is being offered for free when each issue is first released. Old issues will be offered for $3.99. If nothing else, this should convince you to try it out. Go here for the website and here to check out the app.

Looking for an awesome movie podcast? Check out Basasses, Boobs and Body Counts. The focus is on exploitation films of all types, the discussion is lively and fun and the people who run the podcast obviously have an affinity for the films they discuss. Highly recommended.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 28) - End of Days (1999)

In the event of an apocalypse who are you going to call? Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course. Duh...

I'm not sure if the idea of having Satan fight Arnold on the eve of the millennium was a good idea; but it certainly is an entertaining one. And End of Days does entertain.

Arnold plays Jericho Cane, a cliche and stereotype...umm, I mean a former cop who burned out after his wife and child were killed and is now a suicidal mess who works for a private security firm with a wise-cracking sidekick, Bobby Chicago (Kevin Pollak). 3 days before the millennium, Satan possesses the body of a banker (Gabriel Byrne) and goes in search of Christine York (Robin Tunney) who is prophesied to bear the Anti-Christ. Violent wackiness ensues as Arnold tries to stop Satan from getting the girl and ushering in Hell on Earth.

Arnold and Satan discuss puppies and Christmas.

Overall, the movie isn't that good, in a conventional sense. The acting ranges from okay, if under-used (Pollak, Udo Kier as a disciple of Satan and CCH Pounder as a police detective) to the okay, but one-note (Arnold and Byrne) to the painful to watch (Tunney). There are a lot of plot-holes and poorly developed plot points and the story is pretty sketchy (for example, it's not clear why Satan even needs an anti-Christ, since he's able to wander around and cause mayhem on his own without too many problems...except for Arnold shaped problems, of course).

What the movie has going for it is a sense of bizarre fun, a "let's toss in the kitchen sink" approach that makes this a very watchable film. Some highlights:

• Every action scene is well done. Director Peter Hyams knows how to keep movies moving and this one is no exception. In particular, the opener, with Arnold dangling from a helicopter by a cable while running across the rooftops and streets of New York in pursuit of a sniper, is a standout scene.
• Udo Kier plays a Satanist who oozes an urbane evil...at least, until Satan punches his head off. Udo is one of those actors who has screen presence and is always fun to watch.
• Udo's wife and daughter merging into one while having sex with Satan.
• Arnold calling Satan a "choir boy" compared to him.
• The apple of the damned. Just a great image, with what start as maggots on an apple turning into writhing bodies.
• The secret societies at play. Vatican hitmen, ubiquitous Satanists, weird Catholic cults keeping prophesying gypsy women tied up in basements. There is a real effort into creating a sense that there is a longer, deeper war going on.
• The final Satan design (see below) is effective, coming across as more of a Lovecraftian Old One than the standard tails, horn and pitchfork.
  

  The face (and wings) of evil.

• Arnold blowing up Satan with a grenade launcher.
• The "hammer-in-the-face" lack of subtlety of the Christ imagery. Yes, Arnold is crucified. But, he also gets to shoot Satan worshipers with a machine gun. Jesus never did that.

As you can probably gather, this film is a bunch of neat images and scenes mashed up into a big messy ball. It is such a weird horror/big budget action/Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle that it has charm about it that overcomes its basic silliness. Check it out.

Robin Tunney looking hot. No, this is not from the movie...didn't you notice, super-hot?

31 Days of Halloween (Day 27) - '68

What's better than a set of inter-related zombie comic book series? How about setting them in 1968, at the height of the Vietnam War? Yep, that's better. And that's what '68 is all about.

The world they take place is, starts out just like our world in February 1968. The Tet Offensive has been launched, anti-war protestors are in the streets of America, Lyndon Johnson is president (but not for long), "peace, love and understanding" clash with war, racial divisions and generational strife. Each series expands on this, showing what is happening in Southeast Asia and in the United States.

Too much tanning bed for you sir.

Then, the dead start to rise.

Most of the issues are focused on Vietnam, following various soldiers and civilians as they try to survive the rise of the dead and the attacks of the VC (the dead may be rising, but the war goes on). Even though Vietnam is the central focus, the home front is not ignored; the zombie plague is global and we get to see what is happening to the loved one's of men "in-country." There is also a one-shot (68: Hardship) that is set in rural Nebraska and follows a soldier who has been sent home for mental health reasons - he is suffering from PTSD - who has to cope with his shattered psyche and the undead. The decision to have multiple characters with their own story arcs and to follow the multiple limited-issue series format keeps the over-all world from becoming repetitive. Although the narrative focus is on the horror, there is enough variety in themes and tone to keep the stories interesting.

Zombie Hendrix, undead, but still a great guitar player.

The art - primarily by Nat Jones (pen and inks), Jeff Zornow (also pen and inks) and Jay Fotos (colors) - is spectacular, with attention paid to the technical details (crucial, because this is a "real world" war comic) and some pretty stunning gore scenes. The series is graphically violent and not for the squeamish.

When you're a politician, every voter is worth courting...even if they hunger for your brains.

The writing, by Mark Kidwell, is consistently strong. Kidwell pays attention to character development, which is important, because you rarely know who is going to get killed; there are few obvious "red shirts." The stories capture the flavor of the times and the brutality of war. The stories also construct a believable view of a military (and a society) rapidly falling apart. As a bonus, each issue has a fact page which goes into the real-world history behind the events of each issue.

If you like zombie comics or want to see a neat historical-horror mash-up, check out '68. Remember, "Zombie Charlie don't surf!"

Does a skull reeally make a "Thwock" sound when you hit it with a machete. Time for the home version of "MythBusters."

31 Days of Halloween (Day 26) - The Playgirls and the Vampire (1960)

The word of the day is "vampires." I decided to check out this Italian shocker (filmed as L'Ultima Preda del Vampiro)...well, maybe shocker is a little strong. How about, "I decided to check out this Italian movie starring a bunch of hot chicks in diaphanous gowns, a creepy sort-of hero and a fairly ineffectual vampire."

The film opens with a shot of a hand emerging from a crypt and then cuts to a pair of hands running up a great set of gams (that's slang for "legs" for those of you who weren't alive in the 1940s). Which is pretty much all you need to know about the tone. The entire movie shifts between mild horror and mild T&A.

A group of showgirls, their manager Lucas (Alfredo Rizzo) and driver/pianist/general flunky Frank (Leonardo Botta) are traveling through a generic European setting by bus. They are short of money and have just fled from their last hotel without paying the bill. The road they are on is blocked by a landslide, so they take a side-road - never a good idea - and find the Castle Kernassy. They head inside, looking for shelter and find Count Gabor Kernassy (Walter Brandi). He grudgingly welcomes them to stay, warns them to obey his rules and not stray from the guest rooms and then disappears. One of the dancers, Vera (the fetching Lyne Rocco), resembles a long-dead ancestor of the Count. Even in 1960, this was a pretty hackneyed plot device. She does spend much of the movie walking around in a transparent nightie, however, so it balances out.

Vera seems to be missing the point...or should I say, points).

On the first night, one of the dancers - Katia (Maria Giovannini) ignores the Count's orders, wanders off into the castle and winds up dead. Her death is explained away as an accident, a fall from one of the castle windows. She is buried on the grounds of the castle. The Count convinces the troupe to stay, saying the only bridge has been washed out. This provides an opportunity for the girls to prance around in lingerie and engage in some cheesy dance numbers, including a pretty awesome striptease by Erika Di Centa.

Katia demonstrates the benefits of good oral hygiene

Vera confronts the Count underneath the painting of the Count;s ancestor who looks like her. Both express a mutual attraction, as well as a belief that they were meant to meet. While out for a walk that night, Vera discovers that Katia's body has been dug up. She thinks she sees the Count skulking about, but he flees when she calls to him. The next day, she discovers a laboratory - complete with smoke belching beakers and a human skull on a desk. She also finds Katia's body laid out on a slab. The Count shows up and spouts a lot of confusing nonsense, by way of explanation. He says he working to fight against some ancient evil and that Katia may have been murdered although by whom he won't say. Vera, not the brightest bulb and infatuated, is satisfied with his non-answer.

Katia discovers just how high the stakes are. Ouch...sorry...

There is a vampire lurking about, an ancestor of the Count who looks just like him. Like the Count, the vampire is infatuated with Vera, who resembles his dead wife. Katia comes back from the dead, Vera is attacked by the vampire, the Count tries to help and is knocked out. Katia, walking around naked (she provides the only clear nudity in the movie, a brief topless shot) but shrouded in shadow, is not happy about being replaced by a vampire Vera. Katia tries to attack the unconscious Vera is killed by vampire Count in a surprisingly gruesome (for the time) scene. The Count confronts his undead ancestor, telling him that he has developed a means to end the vampire's endless existence. The vampire tells him to get bent, that he likes being immortal. Fighting ensues and the Count manages to dispatch the vampire and rescue Vera. You might think that's the end. nope; there's still a ton of exposition, giving background information that is no longer important. In fact, the conclusion feels like padding. The menace is dead; I don't need 10 minutes of backstory and a long goodbye sequence between Vera and the Count. Finally, Vera leaves on the bus to resume her exciting life as a penniless showgirl and a voice-over informs us that the Count s going to sell the castle and find her. The end.

Erika Di Centa showing us why she's in the movie.

There are some serious story problems, particularly the tonal shifts from fairly moody scenes dealing with the horror plot to weak humor and cheesecake shots. The final confrontation between the Count and the vampire isn't very exciting (with the exception of Katiea's staking with a burning torch). And the experiments being carried out by the Count are never adequately explained. Is he trying to cure vampirism or just kill his ancestor? The point that Vera looks like the dead wife of the vampire is made repeatedly; but how this happened or why Vera acts at times like she has been to the castle, is never explained.

However, there are a lot of fun parts to the movie. It is shot in full on Gothic style complete with an imposing castle, a dank dungeon with crypts, and rainless thunder-storms. Brandi is good in the dual role of hero and menace. The female cast members are quite attractive and appear in various states of undress which was the main selling point of the movie. The dialogue is serviceable, although full of awkward lines. The black and white photography gives the film a nice, moody feel. While the film shows its low budget (Frank goes off to check on the bridge, finds it actually is washed out, discovers a village and talks to the villagers about the castle...all of camera) but the castle interiors are a mix of pretty good (some of the scenes were filmed at an actual castle) and pretty awful. The dungeon set, is especially bad, looking painfully fake. There are some nice shot compositions and a few moments of effective horror.

Taken for what it is - a mix of horror genre cliches and excuses for attractive women to walk around in skimpy outfits - The Playgirls and the Vampire is a fun movie. Check it out.

31 Days of Halloween - Bonus Post - Demonic (2005)

The cover art; the best thing about the movie.

Filmed as Forest of the Damned by any name, it is an ineptly made snoozefest. It has an interesting premise - that a forest in England is inhabited by angels cast out of Heaven for having sexual feelings - but that's it. I saw the cover art on Netflix - a nasty looking demon face with huge fangs - and thought "why not, it's Netflix." Well, this movie answers that question. Why not? Because some films are so bad, they shouldn't be seen.

The film is populated with one-note, stereotypical characters, not out of place in an early '80s slasher movie. The story meanders about, with no coherency beyond the initial setup (mini-van full of unappealing twenty-somethings stranded in woods with monsters). The conclusion, with the only survivor now helping the angels get victims, has no rational; it just happens because, as everyone knows, movies are better with a twist ending....right?

The uninspired camera work drifts between dull static shots and spastic cutting, with a few night vision scenes tossed in at random. There is a wasted appearance by Tom Savini. Usually, Savini seems to be having fun when he's on screen; here, he just seems to be waiting for his paycheck. The film crew manages to make the fallen angels - all women, who are naked throughout the movie - look completely unappealing. It is clear they are not supposed to be and that the actresses are attractive; they are just filmed so poorly that they look pale and anorexic. The film does have a few decent gore sequences, so I will give the effects team a nod; but it is not enough to counteract the tedium.

Avoid at all costs.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 25) - V/H/S/2 (2013)

When I saw V/H/S (2012) earlier this year, I wasn't impressed. The film had gotten a lot of good buzz when it came out, but the various stories - both films are found-footage anthologies - ranged from mildly interesting to mind-numbingly dull. None of the characters presented were sympathetic or even relatable. On top of this were the normal "found-footage" issues, in particular, the poor quality of the cinematography. While not a disaster, it is not worth a second viewing.

While checking out Netflix last night, I noticed the sequel and decided to give it a shot. I was ready to be underwhelmed again. I was happily surprised that this installment is much better in all respects.

V/H/S/2 is made up of five stories. The first story "Tape 49", is also the wrap-around device. A pair of private detectives are hired to discover the whereabouts of a missing college students. They go to his home and find that there are TVs and videotapes scattered around, as well as a laptop. The other stories are videotapes that the detectives watch.

"Phase I Clinical Trials" follows a man who has had an experimental artificial eye implanted, one which records what he is seeing. And what he sees are some very unhappy ghosts. "A Ride In The Park" takes place on the first day of a zombie apocalypse, as a biker with Go Pro camera is bitten, turns into an undead gut muncher and then things get worse. "Safe Haven" is set in a cult's compound in Indonesia. A camera crew is going in to conduct an interview and do a little covert filming using disguised cameras. What follows is bug-nuts insane, incredibly gory and pretty amazing. Finally, "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" is about...while aliens abducting people during a slumber party.

Even zombies understand basic bike safety.

The weakest story is probably the wrap-around. It does its job - provide an excuse for the other segments - but the ending doesn't make much sense. I was watching this with my Horror Movie Baby. Her response "what was that all about" pretty much sums it up. "Phase I" has issues as well, mostly due to the unimpressive ghost make-up (think Carnival of Lost Souls) and the flat acting by the lead, Adam Wingard, who also directed this segment. "Ride" is much better, with some intense gore and an ending that was funny, gruesome and sad. However, if you have a problem with seeing fake intestines in extreme close-up (since the camera is mounted on the helmet of the zombie-biker) you may want to close your eyes at certain points. "Safe Haven" is the best segment, with extreme gore, some uncertainty about which characters - if any - will survive, a pretty awesome monster, and a lot of creativity and disturbing images packed into about 20 minutes. As a bonus, much of the dialogue is in Indonesian, which makes it a good learning tool for me, since I'm currently studying the language. So, that makes it edutainment. Finally, "Slumber Party" is fun, if predictable. It does have some nice alien costumes - a variation on the classic Grey - and the extensive use of a doggy cam! I did find that the sound was a problem, with some of the dialogue lost.

Overall, everything about V/H/S/2 improves on the original. The acting is better and the stories are more original and imaginative. The reduction in the number of stories (from 6 to 5) gives more time to develop each one. The shaky-cam, a drawback of many found-footage films, does get to be a bit much at times, particularly during "Slumber Party." That said, the direction, particularly Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale who co-directed "Ride," is uniformly good, with a number of memorable images and the clever use of format conventions - "natural" lighting, lack of focus at times on the action - to effectively cover budget constraints. Unlike the original, this is a movie I'll be watching again. Check it out.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 24) - American Mary

Wow. That was my first thought when American Mary ended. While not a perfect film, it is still a great, creepy, disturbing movie. It is well acted, has a engrossing and mostly satisfying story. It looks gorgeous. I was going to write "considering it is a low-budget movie"...but forget that. It just looks gorgeous.

Mary, the hottest medical wackjob ever.

The film follows Mary Mason (the beautiful and talented Katharine Isabelle, who is critical to the success of the film), a medical student who is running out of money. When she losses her low-wage waitress job, she heads to a local strip club, hoping to earn enough to stay in school and realize her goal of becoming a surgeon. While there, she is offered $5000 dollars by club owner - and brutal, but charismatic thug - Billy (Antonio Cupo) to provide some life-saving medical aid to a man he and his underlings were torturing. She is soon drawn into an underground world of body modification enthusiasts, including Ruby Realgirl (Paula Lindberg), woman who wants to become a living Barbie doll, complete with no nipples and a mostly closed vagina. While Mary shows reluctance, she also needs the money. As the film progresses, she is drugged and assaulted by one of her med school professors (Dr. Grant, played by David Lovgren) at a surreal rape party held by some of the local surgeons, which ends her career as a student. She uses her underworld contact with Billy - who is obviously in lust with her - to have Grant kidnapped and brought where she spends a couple of days trying out various body modification surgeries on him (although we only see the results later in the film). Mary becomes a sensation in the body modification community. She also becomes increasingly unstable. When we finally see what she has done to Grant - removed his arms and legs and keeping him suspended from chains in a storage locker - she winds up murdering a guard who discovers them. A short time later, she threatens one of the strippers at Billy's club. Billy suggests the two of them just leave together, but she heads home instead. The film climaxes with Mary being contacted by Beatress (a woman surgically altered to look like Betty Boop, played by Tristan Risk), who has been beaten by Ruby's husband, who is not happy with her "dollification" and is now looking for Mary. She is attacked by the husband in her home and stabbed. She kills him and sews her wound shut, but dies from internal bleeding, to be found by the police the next day. The end.

The Soska twins, looking all creepy-sexy...which is my favorite kind of sexy.

First, the few things that didn't work. The film's climax didn't work, reflecting a weirdly moralistic punishment for Mary. In keeping with the twisted tone of the film - and with how charismatic Mary is - it would have been far more satisfying if she had survived, whether on her own or with Billy. And there is an extended cameo made by the sisters who wrote and directed the film, Jen and Sylvia Soska that is badly acted - they sport really bad fake German accents - and pretty pointless. Of course, it's their movie - and more power to them for a) making a film and b) making a great film - but this scene drags. And that's really it.

The good...well, everything else. The film looks amazing. It is a beautifully shot film and shows how much talent can trump budget. The acting is great and care is taken to give even minor characters traits that set them apart. The film does have some gruesome moments, but nothing feels gratuitous and the effects are well executed and believable. The story proceeds logically, has enough tension to keep the viewer engaged and has protagonists (Mary and Billy) who change and deepen during the course of the film. There are well-timed moments of humor. In particular, I thought the scene where Mary, after having become a fixture in the extreme body modification community, almost has some poser who just wants a piercing beaten up, is hilarious. Since this is a horror film, there are some very cringe-worthy moments (when she is preparing to mutilate Grant and when she is getting ready to threaten the stripper) that remind you that, yes, this is a disturbing film. And the assault on Mary is distressing and necessary; unlike some films where there is a rape scene, this does not feel gratuitous. Oh, and Katherine Isabelle is amazing as Mary. She is able to convey the conflicted nature of the character and her descent into cold brutality, and possibly madness, quite effectively.

This is a movie that anyone who likes horror films, movies that focus on character psychology, thrillers...basically, anyone who likes a movie that is a little more challenging than the mindless multi-plex fodder of the day...needs to see. It is not perfect; but it is an impressive, gripping film.

Mary...great surgeon, but I'm not to keen on her dental techniques.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 23) - World of the Dead: The Zombie Diaries 2 (2011)

I haven't seen the original film, but I heard some good things about it. When the sequel popped up on Netflix, I decided "what the heck, I have 90 minutes to kill." And kill them I did. Slowly and painfully. Each minute was chained to a wooden table and I went to town on it with power tools. My minutes screamed for mercy (don't they always) but I was merciless. I was going to watch this movie to the bitter end.

The Zombie Diaries 2 is a found footage film. I am not dismissive of the sub-genre, particularly since I include mockumentaries (I consider them closely related). Movies like The Blair Witch Project, This is Spinal Tap, [Rec] and Punishment Park use the format to great advantage, giving the illusion of immediacy and a heightened sense of reality, even in unreal situations. Zombie Diaries 2 is not in the same ballpark as these movies. It's not even playing the same game.

Set a few months after a zombie-spawning virus has spread across the world, the story centers on a small group of soldiers and a single civilian who are making their way across England, in the hope of finding transportation to the imagined safety of mainland Europe. Along the way, they encounter a depraved group of survivors who are marauding across the countryside, as well as groups of zombies, hungry for human flesh. Added urgency is provided when the commanding officer of the group tells them that England is going to be subjected to a sustained bombardment, as it is the worst hit area in Europe. When the handful of survivors make it to a coastal base, they find that the base is deserted...except for the zombies of course. One man makes it out and encounters a pair of refugees from the mainland who tell him that things are no better there. The end.

As far as a concept for a zombie story goes, this isn't bad. As I was watching it, I could imagine how this would play out on the page and how it might read as coherent and worthwhile. Unfortunately for the filmmakers, the potential of the story is not translated to the screen. This film is a complete disaster, an exercise in lazy film-making.

I'll leave aside that it looks cheap. It is a low-budget movie after all. The make-up effects are okay, no worse than many other low-budget horror films out there. They look pretty bad compared to The Walking Dead; but not to the point where they detract from the film. Also, the last 90 seconds, where the film breaks out of the "found footage" format actually looks good and creates an appropriately bleak conclusion. That's where the good stuff ends.

Plotholes, abound, the most egregious of which takes place in the first five minutes. The film begins in a secure military base. However, the filmmakers wanted to kill off most of the characters and get the survivors on the move. Okay, that's a fairly standard film trope, one that I don't have a problem with. It is the way it is executed in this movie that makes no sense. One night, the main gate is left open. Why? How? That is never explained. It is such an obvious and non-nonsensical plot device, that it makes one wonder if the filmmakers have contempt for their audience.

It gets worse. The problem with found footage films is that you need an excuse for the camera man to keep filming when a normal person would stop and do something else. This movie fails miserable in this regard. We do know why the cameraman is making a film; he is a military videographer stationed at the base, creating a record for posterity. That makes sense; the problem arises as the story unfolds. The cameraman, an armed soldier, keeps filming even when his comrades are being torn apart. This makes no sense. Even worse, at no point does anyone bring this up. In some movies in this sub-genre, there is at least a moment when the filmmakers acknowledge the artificiality of the artistic conceit ("Why don't you put that camera down?" "Someone has to document the zombie/giant monster/angry broccoli attack."). It may make no sense; but at least there is the attempt. In The Zombie Diaries2 we get nothing. There are easy - and obvious - fixes for this. Here's one for free; don't make him a soldier. Just make him a civilian, someone who has never handled a gun in his life, someone who uses the camera as his defense/distancing mechanism. In Zombie Diaries 2, you get the feeling that the filmmakers were just too lazy to bother coming up with a rationale.

The story also treats us to an unpleasant and stereotyped rape scene. Sexual assault in a movie can be a powerful and appropriate moment. Think of Deliverance and Irreversible; in those cases the sexual assault is integral to the story. No matter how graphic it is, the viewer understands the story-driven reason for why it is happening. Here, it seems like an excuse to show some violence against a woman, show some tits, indulge in the stereotype of the "simple-minded boy being made a man" by having sex and make the villains more reprehensible in one of the easiest ways possible. It's not even the ugliness of the scene that it is a problem...it's just so dumb and pointless that it feels like filler.

The editing of the film makes little sense. Most of the story is shown in a linear fashion, with the camera showing the events leading from the base to the coast (the rape is filmed by the attackers who have taken the soldiers captive). Intercut with this linear film are scenes from a massacre of civilians the soldiers participated in before the movie begins. Why are these scenes there? I understand why they are there for the story; what doesn't make sense is why they are interspersed with the movie that is being filmed. The cameraman would literally have to be editing in the "flashback" scenes. That makes no sense at all.

Also, who is the audience? Since the cameraman is killed, the camera lost amongst a horde of the undead and England is, apparently, being bombed out of existence, who is watching the movie? Most films in this genre - at least the good ones - have a plot point indicating the audience. In Blair Witch, the film is discovered in the woods; in Cloverfield, the digital camera is discovered in the ruins of New York; with Diary of the Dead, the film is created and released on the Internet. Here...nothing.

If this movie had been filmed conventionally (not as found footage) the story might have been interesting enough to make the film worthwhile. If the found footage aspect had been handled more logically - say the cameraman is being sent out with a squad of soldiers to recon some critical facility (even sticking with the evacuation premise) and is transmitting the images back to a central base - then that conceit could have worked. As it is The Zombie Diaries 2 is an example of lazy, sloppy film-making and should be watched as a good example of how not to make a movie.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 22) - Maniac (2012)

The original Maniac is a low budget classic of the slasher genre. Made in 1980, the film is grim and gritty; so much so that you might want to take a shower after watching it. Staring Joe Spinell as Frank Zito - the titular maniac - a middle aged, hairy, greasy serial killer, who scalps women and attaches their hair to manikins in order to create surrogate mothers. If you haven't seen it, do so. It creates an image of New York City as part hunting ground/part open sewer, a city on the verge of imploding, with nightmare characters like Spinell being the only logical inhabitants.

When I read (in Rue Morgue, a fine horror publication also available on the iPad, which is how I read it) about a remake with Eljah Wood as Frank, I had some doubts. Although Elijah can play a good killer (he was one of the best things about Sin City, as the silent, almost superhuman Kevin) I wondered if he could fill Spinell's blood-covered shoes. It turns out he isn’t the problem, although he is lacking Spinell’s brutishness, something that worked in Spinell’s favor since you readily believe he could overpower his victims. Rather, the problems stem from how the story is told visually and from the point-of-view that the audience has.

The film (which has same basic story as the original - bad mom, kill women, scalps on manikins - the only real change being that Frank runs a manikin restoration business) is told subjectively, through Frank's eyes. Well, mostly through his eyes; there a few moments when the movie breaks this point-of-view, not all of which make sense. The strength of this narrative choice is that we get to see how bizarre his world is, with regular hallucinations and vision distorting migraines. It is certainly an interesting narrative choice. However, the subjective view doesn't add anything to the film, coming across as a gimmick. Since we don't have other points-of-view, we are being forced to adopt the role of the killer, perhaps even to understand and sympathize with him. The problem is that Frank's story isn't that interesting or original. He saw his mother turning tricks and now brutally murders women in order to create surrogate moms whom he can control. All of which is fine, as motivation for a killer; but it is nothing to sympathize with. Since we only see his victims through his eyes, we have less sympathy for them than we otherwise would. Subjective film making is a long tradition in slasher films. It was used to good effect in the original Halloween, for example; however, has always been used sparingly and for good reason. The killer is the threat, not the person the audience should be sympathetic too or identity with. There are exceptions to this general rule. In Psycho Norman Bates does have sympathetic qualities, particularly since when he kills, he is no longer Norman, he is "Mother." However, even if you can sympathize with aspects of the killer, you still identify with the victims.

Frank and his bride-to-bleed (with apologies to Forry Ackerman).

The other problem - and this may seem an unfair criticism, since it is a direct comparison with the original - is that the modern setting is not visually interesting. While the film is certainly polished looking, it lacks the "urban nightmare" quality of the original. Director Franck Khalfoun and cinematographer Maxime Alexandre know how to get a good shot. However, post-millennial Los Angeles is not as visually unique or tonally rich as NYC at the height of its late-20th century urban decay. It is the look of the original, the way in which the the dark, garbage strewn streets of New York become a character in their own right, that help set it apart from many of its contemporaries. In the original, the city reflects the killer; in the remake, the cityscape is generic.

There are some nice touches in the remake. The gore effects are plentiful and graphic, although nothing approaches Tom Savini's work, particularly the shotgun decapitation effect he created. However, it is refreshing to see that this is not a PG-13 movie. Blood and boobs are plentiful. There is also a funny shout out to Silence of the Lambs, with the song "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus, which was used during Buffalo Bill's "mangina dance," features in one of Frank's kills. And, I also find it amusing that Frank is constantly having to battle flies in his apartment, due to all the bloody scalps.

There are some scenes that play much worse, however. The low point is probably the "subway kill." In the original, a nurse returning home from work is stalked by Zito. She flees into a subway restroom, thinks she has avoided him, but winds up being run through by a knife. It is a truly frightening sequence. In the remake, Frank follows a dancer through a mostly depopulated Los Angeles subway system, chases her outside through completely deserted streets and traps her in a fenced-in parking lot. He then kills her in a brutal stabbing sequence. The problem: the victim clearly has a cell phone. She is seen fiddling with it in the subway. Why doesn't she just call the police? As the sequence of scenes plays out, she has at least one opportunity to do so. While this is a problem many modern horror films have to deal with there is no attempt to offer an explanation, even a bad one. It is a moment that took me completely out of the movie. Suspension of disbelief is something horror films usually demand; and, as a lover of the genre, I have no problem doing that. However, a filmmaker has to offer some rationale for a conceit like this, so as a viewer I can say "okay, that might be far fetched, but I can buy it for the purpose of watching and enjoying the film."

Like many remakes, Maniac 2012 leaves one asking "why?" Not all remakes are bad: in the horror and sci-fi genres, Carpenter's The Thing and Snyder's Dawn of the Dead are examples of worthwhile remakes, offering something new to the story told in the original. Unfortunately, Maniac doesn't have much to offer, once you get past the subjective point-of-view. And that, as I explained, doesn't work for me. I would still recommend checking it out; it is competently made, so you might enjoy it, particularly if you have not seen the original. For those who are fans of the original...I think you'll agree, there is no substitute for Joe Spinell.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 21) - Marvel Zombies 3

The first Marvel Zombies series started out as spin-off of a story arc in Ultimate Fantastic Four. The premise is pretty neat: what would happen if traditional Marvel super-heroes became flesh eating zombies due to a trans-dimensional virus? Set on Earth 2149 - one of the many alternate Marvel universes (the mainstream Marvel Universe is Earth 616) - the original MZ series dealt with some of the big names in the Marvel pantheon. Spider-Man, wolverine, Colonel America (hey, it is an alternate universe), Hulk...all turned into zombies. The population of the planet is wiped out in a matter of days. The zombies explore various means of satiating their hunger, including attempts to travel to other dimensions, spurred on by the virus, which wants to spread across the multiverse.

Or something like that. Really, this is more about super-powered carnage than anything else.

Aaron and Jocasta looking all Army of Darkness

Of the spin-off series, MZ3 is the best. It features one of my favorite second-tier characters, Aaron Stack aka Machine Man, a misanthropic robot who does heroic things morality for beer and as an excuse to engage in excessive amounts of violence, all while taunting humans (or "fleshies" as he not so affectionately calls them) for being inferior to him. Great stuff.

MZ3 opens with Zombie Deadpool crossing over into Earth 616 through a dimensional nexus in Florida. The Command, a US government sponsored team of superheroes, responds and is almost wiped out, but the zombie outbreak seems to be contained. For the moment. ARMOR, A division of SHIELD charged with stopping extra-dimensional threats recruits Stack to travel to Earth 2149 and acquire a sample of the zombie virus in order to create a vaccine. Of course, not all is as it seems with the head of the vaccine program, Dr Michael Morbius aka the Living Vampire. He's been replaced by his zombie counter-part from the alternate universe.

Accompanied by Jocasta, another robot that Stack has a "thing" for and ARMOR director Little Sky, a dimensional teleporter, Aaron heads to the zombie universe. His motivation? To save the human race...naw, just kidding, he wants to impress Jocasta enough so that she'll hook up with him. Yes, we're talking hot robot-on-robot action here, True Believers.

Feeding time in the clone center. Zombies have terrible table manners.

Aaron and Jocasta find that zombie Kingpin has set up a human cloning center in the ruins of New York City. He is using the clones to control what is left of the super-zombies by allowing them to feed on the replicated humans. He is also working with the Inhumans to spread the "Hunger Gospel" (what the zombies call the virus) to Earth 616. Mayhem ensues as Aaron, overcome by the need to do something either heroic and/or explosively violent, attacks the zombie hordes in the clone center.

After killing (or, actually, re-killing) numerous zombies, Aaron confronts Kingpin who then monologues his whole plan (something that Aaron jokes about; self-referential humor and satire are staples of the MZ series) which basically involves Zombie Morbius using the pretext of an inoculation to infect the super-heroes of Earth 616 with the virus.

Back on Earth, the ARMOR headquarters has been overrun by zombies. Luckily, it is buried deep underground and can only be accessed by teleporters. Jocasta and the ARMOR director mount a last stand against the undead, aided at the last moment by the non-zombie Living Vampire and Aaron, who finds a way to transport himself from the zombie dimension to the his own using Zombie Lockjaw. The day is saved thanks to vast amounts of violence - In the words of Aaron "I have been programmed to eviscerate your repulsive squishy organic bits and chew gum...and I hate gum" - and Morbius is tasked with putting together a team to find what appears to be one zombie who manged to teleport out of ARMOR headquarters tot he surface. Which leads to MZ4.

Written by Fred Van Lente, the dialogue is clever and the story in general makes sense. There are a couple of plot holes; for example, it is never explained how Zombie Morbius gets through the Nexus of Realities undetected since ARMOR seems to be monitoring it at all times. And there is a bit of a deus ex machina at the end with Lockjaw able to somehow teleport Aaron back to his own dimension. These don't detract from the overall enjoyment of the story, however. As a Machine Man fan, it is nice to see him in the hands of a writer who can balance the snarkiness, annoyance with humans, but overall heroic nature. And the art by Kev Walker is fantastic, reminding me of something you'd find in a '70s Eerie comic. The gore is pretty intense, but this is called Marvel Zombies; you wouldn't expect a non-splattery zombie story, would you? Oh, right, World War Z...okay, I guess you might. If you like the idea of a zombie/superhero mashup, check out any of the MZ line. It's a lot of gruesomely fun undead action.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 18, 19 and 20) - The Night Stalker, Terror Behind the Walls, and Godzilla Vs Hedorah

It's a Sunday night horror triple feature. After spending the weekend in lovely Philadelphia - and not thinking about posting - I'll be giving you triple the value.

Friday, I checked out an old favorite of mine, The Night Stalker (1972). Starring Darren McGavin as Carl Kolchak, a newspaper reporter who has seen better days, The Night Stalker follows Kolchak as he tracks down a killer in Las Vegas who turns out to be a vampire. At the time of its airing, The Night Stalker was the highest rated TV movie ever. The entire cast - mostly familiar faces from TV and character actors - is uniformly good. The characters, particularly Kolchak and his editor, Tony Vincenzo (Simon Oakland) are well-developed. The action scenes are exciting and well choreographed. The effects, although minimal, look good. The soundtrack by Bob Cobert has a nice jazzy-creepy vibe to it. And the movie is relentlessly logical; if a vampire actually existed in modern day Vegas and if the authorities found out about it, this is exactly how events would play out. The vampire would see Vegas as a perfect hunting ground, the authorities would try to cover everything up (so as not to start a panic...or embarrass themselves) and anyone trying to get the truth out - like a pesky newspaper reporter, for example - would find himself at odds with everyone. Barry Atwater plays the vampire as a cunning, silent predator and the action sequences establish just how tough he is. The two main action sequences - one in and around a hospital, a second around a pool - are brutal. And the ending is in keeping with the gritty, realistic tone of the film and a cynical view of authority. Check it out.

On Saturday, the highlight was going to Eastern State Penitentiary to check out Terror Behind the Walls. A partial conversion of the sprawling prison into a pretty creepy haunted house, TBTW is set apart from other haunted houses by the authentic setting (I've been on the prison tour during the day and it's unsettling), as well as great makeup, elaborate sound and lighting effects, some set-pieces (like a section that uses 3D glasses) that are pretty trippy and enthusiastic performers. The whole walk-through takes about 45 minutes. If you are in Philly, check it out.

And tonight, I'm wrapping up the weekend with a viewing of Godzilla vs Hedorah (1971). Made when Godzilla had become a defender of Japan, GvsH (also known as Godzilla vs the Smog Monster) is a weird mix of the gruesome (people disintegrating while writhing in agony), the goofy (Godzilla using his atomic breath to fly) and the excruciatingly bad (seemingly endless psychedelic rock/dance sequences). Hedorah is a pretty neat creature, a glistening blog of muck with glowing red eyes that changes shape from giant tadpole to toxic gas spewing flying pancake to lumbering, acidic blob barfing humanoid form. Born from a toxic stew of pollution (and maybe a meteor; the story is kind of fuzzy on a few things) is a suitable menace. And, as allegory, it's not bad, even if hamfisted...and a little muddled. Hedorah is the personification of our destruction of the environment; okay, that sounds good. But, Godzilla is also the personification of a destructive aspect of man, nuclear weapons. So...our pollution is bad...but we can save ourselves by nuking garbage dumps? Hmmm...I don't think that's the message we're supposed to get. Flaws aside, this is a fun attempt to break out of the rut Godzilla films were falling into. For fans of Godzilla or kaiju movies in general, it is worth seeing.

You are now flying Godzilla Airlines...please fasten your seat belts.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 17) - The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

I decided to check out a sequel to a movie that is already part of my 31 Days series, The Hills Have Eyes 2. With Hills 2 we get to revisit everyone’s favorite radioactive mutant cannibal clan and see what they’ve been up to since the first film’s bloodbath.

After the success of Alexandre Aja’s Hills (making around $70 million on a budget of $15 million) it was no surprise that a sequel was made. Released in 2007, Hills 2 is superficially different, but eventually becomes more of the same; freaky mutants, gruesome kills, mutant rape (why someone decided this should be a trademark of the films is beyond me), and people in way over their heads having to become savages to survive.

Set two years after the first film, Hills 2 opens with a mixed team of scientists and soldiers setting up remote sensors after the Army has conducted “search and destroy” operations in the area to clean up the mutant menace. They missed a few and the mutants attack, wiping out most of the team. We are then introduced to our protagonists, a group of National Guardsmen conducting training exercises who are detoured to drop off some gear to the scientists. The characters are all stereotypes: the peacenik, the Rambo-wannabe, the big dumb guy...we’ve seen them in a thousand movies and will see them in a thousand more.

In short order, they find their long-range radios don’t work, they split up with most of the squad going to rescue a lone survivor and their only vehicle is destroyed. The survivor, Colonel Redding (Jeff Kober) lasts long enough to tell the Guardsmen what they are up against and how doomed they are, before taking his own life. Well, that’s one option. The mutants begin to attack and pick off squad members rapidly. The squad leader is taken out by friendly fire - we knew he had to die, because he was the only guy who knew what to do - but this isn’t a bad variation on how he’s killed. There’s the usual characters doing dumb things. For example, right after one of the mutants is killed, a female soldier - Missy (Daniella Alonso, whose defining characteristic is that she has a son) - wanders off to relieve herself and is promptly snatched. This, of course, makes no sense. It’s always a problem when a movie relies on characters doing obviously dumb things to move the story forward.

The survivors head into a series of mines that honeycomb the area to rescue Missy and to try to find a way down the mountain they are stuck on. More soldiers and mutants are killed off and Missy is subjected a brutal rape by the head of the mutant clan. She is rescued, the mutant patriarch is killed and our heroes emerge from the mines. There is a cut back to the science camp where a mutant is using the sensors to monitor the movements of the survivors, presumably leading to their demise. The End.

Hills 2 is not bad, once you get past the stereotypical characters and some serious leaps in logic that are used in place of more sophisticated storytelling. The mutants have even less personality than those in the first movie. Also there are just some really dumb scenes. A good example is the death of Colonel Redding. When the squad finds him, he is torn to shreds, wedged between some rocks and barely alive. He then somehow manages to get up, walk past them, go to the edge of a cliff, give a little speech and then shoot himself. Given how the scene is blocked, this makes no sense spatially. However, the pace is so fast that it would be easy for the viewer to just gloss over the holes in the plot.

On the plus side, the mutant makeup is well done. The gore effects are graphic and creative. There pacing is quick and doesn’t slow down for the entire movie. The direction is competent. In general, you know what’s happening in the fight scenes and the director gets the most out of the mountainous terrain. The film suffers a bit from the third act being entirely in the mines. While it does create a dark and sinister wonderland for the mutants to stalk their prey, it gives the film a cheap, set-bound feel.

The biggest problem I have with this movie is the missed opportunity. A more interesting alternative would have been to show use the Army’s “search and destroy” mission, perhaps even crafting a story in which some of our sympathy would lie with the mutants. Given that they are trying to survive as best they can in a hostile environment and that we are told they were hunted down by the government, this approach could have taken the clash between mutant and normal family and turned of the first film and turned it on its head. Instead, we get a very “by-the-numbers” splatter flick. An entertaining one, for those who like this horror sub-genre; but nothing memorable.

If you’ve seen Aja’s film and liked it, I’d say check this one out. It’s definitely inferior to the original, but it does have enough twisted mutant fun and blood and brain splattering kills to keep you occupied for 97 minutes.

31 Days of Halloween (Day 16) - Zombie (1979)

An image that fueled a thousand nightmares. Well, a thousand of mine, anyway.

Look at that poster. That sold me on this flick when I was waaaay too young to see it. I was actually at a theater to see Battle Beyond the Stars with my folks and saw the poster for this in the lobby. I remember having nightmares about this freaking poster for weeks after seeing it. Like most of my horror-genre nightmares, I’d wake up scared....then try to go right back to sleep so I could resume the dream.

I had a complex childhood.

When I finally saw the film years later, I was a little disappointed. It’s a pretty good horror movie and it does have some neat gore effects. But, like the rest of Lucio Fulci’s work (The Beyond, The House By The Cemetery), the story is a mess and the acting is all over the place. Fulci is good at creating arresting images...but is not very good at directing people.

The film begins with a literal bang as a shadowy figure shoots a shrouded figure in the head. The shooter than says “the boat can leave now.” It is a great opening. We have no idea why this is happening; but, it does kick you in the eyeballs and make you want to find out.

We then cut to “the boat” sailing past lower Manhattan. It is adrift and, apparently, abandoned. A harbor patrol boat approaches, police board the ship and find a bloated zombie aboard. The creature is shot and falls overboard, but not before it bites - and kills - a cop. At that point our main protagonist, Peter West (Ian MCulloch), is introduced. He is a reporter who is assigned to look into the incident. While doing so, he meets Ann Bowles (Tisa Farrow, who has one expression, heavily medicated) whose father owns the boat. The two of them travel to an island in the Caribbean that was her father’s last known location. They meet up with a couple - Brian (Al Cliver aka Pier Luigi Conti) and Susan (Auretta Gay) - who own a boat. En route Susan goes topless scuba diving (and yes, she has nice flotation devices - no way was I going to pass that opportunity up) and is attacked by a zombie. The zombie, in turn, is attacked by a shark and the two wrestle for a while, in what is an inspired sequence.

Scene cut from the final episode of SpongeBob SquarePants

When they arrive on the island, they find it devastated by the zombie plague. They meet Doctor Menard (Richard Johnson) who is trying to figure out what kind of disease is reanimating the dead. The surviving natives are turning to voodoo to try and stop the zombies. However, neither science nor faith have much luck. The hordes of shuffling, rotting corpses are relentless. The protagonists are whittled down by zombie attacks until only Peter and Ann are left. They escape the island, only to discover that New York City is being overrun by the undead. The end.

While not particularly frightening, the movie is gruesome. The zombie makeup and gore effects by Giannetto De Rossi and Maurizio Trani are in general effective. In particular, the aforementioned shark attack is well-executed. One particularly nasty scene occurs when the wife of Dr. Menard (played by Olga Karlatos, who is kind enough to provide us with a shower scene before her death) has a splinter of wood jammed into her eye before being torn apart by the hungry undead. Fulci also stages a creepy cemetery reanimation sequence, including the beauty featured on the movie poster. And the final battle in Dr. Menard's clinic, while a bit long and repetitive, is still well-executed and features an abundance of head shots, throats torn out, zombies on fire and falling apart and other forms of mayhem. The score by Fabio Frizzi (who worked on a number of Fulci films) and Giorgio Tucci is also worth mentioning; it is an effective electronic soundtrack that coveys a feeling of dissonance, of a world out of order, which fits the story perfectly.

Of course, this being a Fulci film, the story isn’t very impressive. Characters repeatedly freeze in terror at the attacking zombies, allowing the slow moving ghouls a chance to chomp into them. The ending - Peter and Ann listening to a radio announcer describing the zombies overrunning new york city - is pretty ludicrous since it ends with the announcer telling his audience that the “zombies are at the studio door” followed by a goofy scream. The central problem, however, is that the story just doesn’t go anywhere. The characters have no arc and are poorly developed and the plot is really an excuse for zombie attacks and gore effects. This doesn’t mean it is a bad film, per se; it does mean that you need to accept it for what it is.

Zombie attack or Monday morning in my house. Hard to tell the difference.

This would be an easy movie to nitpick; but, that would miss the point. Like most of Fulci’s work, it is best to approach this movie as a horror-dream, a nightmare of the undead, not a film with strong characters or much thematic complexity.

If you like horror films and have not seen this movie, I’d recommend it. While there are limitations, it’s a fun, gory romp and well worth watching. If you wind up liking it and want to check out more of Fulci’s work, watch The Beyond, which is his best film...even though it makes almost no sense as a coherent narrative.

A little bonus trivia; the film was released as Zombi 2 in Italy. Why? Because Dawn of the Dead was released as Zombi and the film was marketed as a sequel, even though the two have nothing to do with one another (other than having zombies as the monsters). Even in a zombie apocalypse, marketing matters.

31 Days of Halloween (Days 14 and 15) - The Descent and Pumpkinhead

So, life intruded on my Halloweening (now an official word; enjoy) yesterday. That means that today, you get a two-fer.

First up, one of my favorite horror films in the last decade, The Descent.

Set a year after an accident kills protagonist Sarah's (Shauna MacDonald) husband and daughter, a group of her girlfriends organize a spelunking (spelunking, your power-word of the day) trip in the wilds of West Virginia. Sarah is having problems coping with her loss, is on various drugs and might be a little unstable. No matter, because, in short order, her and her gal pals are trapped in an unmapped series of caves that are infested with blind, sonar-user humanoids who hunger for the tender flesh of our heroines.

A blind, cave-dwelling, humanoid thingy voguing for the camera. You're fabu darling and you know it.

The all-female cast, along with the generally well-developed characters (not all of the women are amazon-tough, not all of them are screaming monster fodder), some very creepy scenes (most of the jump scares are earned, although there are a lot of them) and great looking monsters make this movie more than just your standard monster flick. Director Neil Marshall doesn't skimp on the gore (something that is a trade mark of his other movies, Dog Soldiers, Doomsday and Centurion). And, the ending is appropriately bleak, with everyone - apparently - dead except for Sarah who has gone completely mental and is huddled in the dark, thinking she is with her dead daughter.

Juno (aka Natalie Mendoza) getting ready to open up a whole can of kick ass...now with Spring-TimeTM fresh scent

It's not perfect, of course. There are a couple of character actions - like one of the women deciding to run blindly through the caverns until she falls and gives herself a nice compound fracture - that leave you saying "huh?" And the story does hinge on one of the characters - Juno (the pretty awe-inspiring Natalie Mendoza) - finding a massive, unknown cave system and then being dumb enough to bring a bunch of her friends into it, not knowing what they might find. But, how many stories don't have contrivances? Not many.

Finally, if you ever felt the need to go exploring caves, this movie will cure of that. I would get about five feet, assume the entire mountain was going to collapse on me and run out screaming.

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Okay, we know leave the caves for the ruralest of rural America. 1988's Pumpkinhead is a fun story of supernatural revenge and shirtless, flamethrower wielding Lance Henricksen. Does it get better than this? Oh, yes it does...yes it does.

Pumpkinhead giving the camera his best side.

Directed by special effects master Stan Winston, the movie features a sweet monster - the demonic killing-machine Pumpkinhead. Stan Winston demonstrates that he knows how to deliver effects driven horror. What he lacks is the ability to get much out of his actors with the exception of Lance Henriksen.

A group of "city folk" on their way to a backwoods cabin accidentally kills Henriksen's son. Lance decides to get some payback, redneck-style and...well, visits a witch...who raise a demon. Funny, I would've thought redneck-style involved shotguns and requests to "squeal like a pig." Shows what I know about the ways of "country folk."

The demon starts picking off the "city folk," something Lance experiences. Feeling guilty, he sets out to stop the monster any way he can. He also finds that as the monster kills more people his face is taking on demonic characteristics and the creature is starting to look like him. Most of the "city folk" wind up dead and Henriksen has to sacrifice his own life to stop the creature. Of course, there is a bit of a twist in the end, as Henriksen finds out the price for summoning Pumpkinhead is to take his place.

The movie does suffer from poor acting and cliched characters. The victims are one-dimensional and the acting flat. The story itself is okay, although Henriksen's shift from "kill-em-all" to "I want to stop this" is abrupt and not developed.

With that in mind, I still recommend Pumpkinhead. It moves at a fast pace, has a really neat backwoods-mythology feel and features one of the most memorable practical effects monsters from the 80s. Check out both movies...and never leave the cities!

Once the cameras stop rolling, actors and demons are best friends. Isn't that heart-warming?