Showing posts with label the hobbit battle of five armies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the hobbit battle of five armies. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Happy Trailers - The Next Hobbit-Related Waste Of Time

I like the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Not every moment of it. I don't mind the deviations from the books. I do mind scenes that add nothing to the story or, in the case of the final film and the resolution of the Battle of Minas Tirith, makes me wonder if Peter Jackson even knows how to tell a dramatic story. Resorting to a Deus ex machina is never a good idea. Problems aside, these three films still make up a fun fantasy epic.

The Hobbit? Not so much. The Desolation of Smaug was terrible, an exercise in bloated storytelling and self-indulgence. Jackson's desire to turn a children's story into some kind of action/drama epic was a mistake. His instability to create action scenes that don't look like they were pulled from a video game, the moronic love story, the lack of coherent characters...just a terrible waste of money and effort on the part of the creative team and of money and time for the viewers.

The Battle of Five Armies looks like more of the same. Video game physics. Action scenes turned up to eleven. Melodramatics. Unneeded efforts to hammer it home that this story takes place before LOTR. It just looks bad. But, your mileage may be different. Check out the trailer below. If you enjoy it, and liked the other Hobbit films, no judgement here. I mean, I love It! The Terror from Beyond Space! in which the costume head of the titular monster was too small, so the stunt man's chin is sticking out of the mouth and made up to look like a tongue, giving the impression of an alien giving his victims a raspberry, so I have no right to tell people their taste is...oh, whatever. If you like the Hobbit films, you're on crack. You hear me! Crack!!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Battle Of The Five Armies...Yawn...

With Comic-Con coming starting up next week (I want to be there...sad me) everyone is dumping images, plot points, story-lines, etc for upcoming movies, TV shows, comics...if it's genre media, there's new stuff being flung at the geek masses.

The image below is from Peter Jackson's third Hobbit film, The Battle of Five Armies. But, really, who cares? The last movie was so bad, so boring, a cinematic slog, that I have zero interest in seeing the next one. Jackson has made some awesome movies; but the Hobbit films are exercises in bloated self-indulgence. What her really needs is an editor or producer or someone who can tell him "Peter, this whole sequence is dull and dumb; cut it." But, apparently this doesn't happen. Of course, Smaug made almost a billion dollars world-wide so he must being doing something that people like, right?

Anyway, image of Gandalf and some other greasy haired bearded guy below. Enjoy.