Almost Human Canceled

Fox has canceled Almost Human after only one season. I really enjoyed the episodes I saw. The show mixed some action and police procedural tropes with some pretty interesting looks at techno-shock, trans-humanism, and the oncoming Singularity. The cast was good, particularly stars Karl Urban and Michael Ealy. It seemed like the show had a lot of potential; bad call, Fox.

New [Rec] On The Way - Some Spoliers Below

[Rec] and [Rec2] were masterful horror films. Well paced and acted, they demonstrated what could be done with a limited environment (an apartment building), as well as how to make an effective "found footage" style film. [Rec3] was uneven, going for slapstick humor in stark contrast to the unrelenting horror of the first two films. The director of the first two films - Jaume Balagueró - as well as the star, the ubercute Manuela Velasco - is back for [Rec4]. If the trailer (below) is any indication, the new film will return to the tone of the original, being a balls to the wall horror movie.

For those of you who have not seen these movies they are a twist on the zombie genre. The back-story involves an experiment by the Catholic Church to find a biological cause for demonic possession. The priest assigned to the task does so, finding a virus that causes the victims to become homicidal - and hard to kill - monsters, like the "fast" cinematic zombies from the Dawn of the Dead remake or 28 Days Later. Unfortunately, in finding the virus, the priest either makes it more virulent or it mutates. Either way, it infects the inhabitants of an apartment building in Barcelona. The authorities seal the building off, trapping a dwindling number of survivors, including a couple of firemen and a news crew that was following them around, led by a reporter played by Velasco. The second film starts immediately after the first film ends, following a tactical team and a group of teenagers who both enter the building. The virus from the first film displays some supernatural qualities when a sample of contaminated blood bursts into flames when a religious rite is performed on it. [Rec2] ends with Velasco's character the sole survivor and possessed by a demon.

It looks like [Rec 4} is going to ignore the third film and start with the aftermath of [Rec 2]. According to the director, it will also drop the found footage aspect, which is a good thing. The first two films had used it to good effect, but with the glut of found footage films on the market, it really isn't that fresh a look.

See, Manuela Velasco...ubercute...

Nuts Magazine Is Going Away

The concept of the "lad magazine" is essentially - let's take the Playboy model (hot chicks, lifestyle articles), aim the latter at the 18 - 30 demographic and the former...well, the former is self-explanatory. Lad mags in the US (Maxim, FHM) generally don't show nudity, those in some countries (e.g., England) do.

Well, today the world is a little sadder, with the announcement that nuts - and English Lad mag - is ceasing publication. With an almost laser-like focus on large-breasted brunettes, Nuts brought us something we all need; chicks with big boobs doffing their tops. Unfortunately, you can find this on the Internet for free, along with advice about the best beer to drink while playing Call of Duty (that would be the Flying Dog Raging Bitch IPA) and adverts for body sprays. And so, Nuts is joining a long list of magazines and newspapers that are being plowed under by new media.

There was something kind of neat - like a rite of passage (at least for a guy) - about going to buy your first Playboy at an honest-to-God store. I actually remember the first issue I bought...March, 1988. Why I remember that is unclear. Oh, right, Susie Owens (Image at right). Yum! Kids these days and their Interwebs! When I wanted porn, I had to walk uphill both ways to a store in a snow storm while being followed by wolves and plunk down my hard earned money on a counter, usually manned by a middle aged woman who would glare at me in a disapproving, mom-like fashion.

Oksy, this post is going into places I hadn't really intended, so I'll just leave you with a final thought about Nuts...thanks for the...wait for it...mammeries! Ah, humor.

Here's the final cover. More photos from the issue (no nudes; this is a family-ish blog) after the break. Enjoy.

Which Santánico Wins?

I love the original From Dusk till Dawn. It is a great mash-up of hard-boiled crime movies and horror films. It has a great cast and director Robert Rodriguez and writer Quentin Tarantino create a series of memorable scenes and dialogue. One of the highlights of the movie was Salma Hayek, performing one of the best strip-teases in film history (although her character, sadly, didn't last very long).

A TV series based on the film is out on the El Ray cable network (never heard of it, but I'm not a cable watcher). Anyway, the original film led a movie franchise with a pair of direct to video films, neither of which was very good. The film really works as a one-off concept. Whether the TV series can capture the manic energy and has the over-the-top gore as the film is doubtful. However, it does have Eiza González in the role of Santánico Pandemonium.

After having watched her version of Salma's snake dance (clips of both below) I have to say...she doesn't really do it for me. She's hot; but Salma is in a class by herself. I mean, check out the images below and tell me: who would you rather give up your immortal soul to?

Salma

Eiza

The winner is obvious. Need more proof? Check out the action below.

New Godzilla Trailer - Even More Aweseomness

A new international Godzilla trailer has dropped and it gives us a better look at Godzilla, as well as at least one other monster, who looks a lot like Rodan. The image at right is Rodan from Godzilla: Final Wars, the last Godzilla film from Toho.

It looks like the new film is firmly set in the Toho universe, with monsters galore roaming the Earth. I'd love to see a high-budget, modern SFX version of Gidorah. How about a remake of Invasion of the Astro-Montser? Of course, it wouldn't be the same without Nick Adams, but still, one can dream...

Anyway, check out the trailer.

Awesome Technology - 3D Printed Homes

I think that 3D printing technology will lead to a new industrial revolution, one in which highly customizable manufacturing will exist on a neighborhood (or household) level, one in which organic material - everything from replacement organs to a lunchtime sandwich - will be produced by this emerging technology.

In China, a company has printed 10 homes in 24 hours using 4 massive printers. Here's some highlights from Xinhua;

The stand-alone one-story houses in the Shanghai Hi-Tech Industrial Park look just like ordinary buildings. They were created using an intelligent printing array in east China's city of Suzhou. The array consists of four printers that are 10 meters wide and 6.6 meters high and use multi-directional automated sprays. The sprays emit a combination of cement and construction waste that is used to print building walls layer-by-layer. Ma Yihe, the inventor of the printers, said he and his team are especially proud of their core technology of quick-drying cement. [...] "[W]ith the 3D printing, we recycle mine tailings into usable materials. And we can print building with any digital design our customers bring us. It's fast and cheap," he said. Buildings made with 3D printing technology can spare construction workers from having to work in hazardous, dusty environments, he said.

We truly live in an age of wonders.

Free Game - Cold War Naval Battles

The best things in life are free...like wasp attacks and leprosy. Okay, something else that is free, but considerably more fun, is Cold War Naval Battles. Based on Modern Naval Battles a card game simulating naval conflict in the late-20th Century, CWNB, can be found at the Relative Range website for free (with the approval of the original game designers, so it is all legit).

In the game, each ship is represented by a card which has information about weapons, damage capacity, victory point value and attack and defense modifiers. Players fight each other using attack cards. There also special event cards that allow for extra attacks, repairing damaged ships, reinforcements and so on. Expansion games add campaigns, more ships, and more rules for added complexity. This is a download-and-print game, but the time involved in printing is well worth it. Check it out.

Here are a few examples of the cards:
A ship card, the USS Nimitz:

A missile attack card showing the type of missile launcher needed ("C") and the amount of damage done (3 points - by comparison the Nimitz can take 12 points of damage):

Finally, an airstrike card from one of the expansion sets. Air strikes are particularly effective since a successful attack will sink a ship:

New Favorite COD Weapon

I've always been a fan of the P90. With the release of COD:Ghosts, I had been using the Honey Badger, since it has a nice balance between range, rate-of-fire and stopping power. A new weapon was dropped a few weeks ago, the Ripper, which has taken over as my "go-to" gun. A hybrid SMG and assault rifle, the Ripper has a built-in scope, good range as an AR and is pretty accurate in both SMG and AR modes. Oh, and it looks pretty bad-ass as well. Right now, it's only available to Season Pass holders.

Urban Planning, Greenspaces and Livability

One of my interests is urban planning. In particular, how to make our cities more livable. For example, in my hometown, I look at some of our streets, crowded with noisy, noxious cars and imagine broad parkways, with people walking and biking, the sound of engines replaced with the chatter of crowds and the chirp of birds. Anyway, I saw this Ted Talk and decided to share. Hey, it's not movie related...but it is my site.

Check it out.

In Flight Movie Reviews - Heading To Indonesia

On my recent excursion to Indonesia, I had the opportunity to spend 837 hours in an airplane. While fending off terminal butt-numbness and smelly Russians (not a code for something else; there really were smelly Russians on the plane) I watched a lot of movies. Korean Airlines, in addition to having some of the hottest flight attendants around, offers up a pretty extensive selection of movies. So, with nothing else to do - I was threatened with tasering if I kept trying to "kill the gremlin on the wing" (come on, Bill Shatner did it...it's fun) - I watched many, many movies. Most of them, not very good.

1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: What a terrible, boring movie. Endless CGI scenes with less dramatic weight than a video game cut-scene (in particular, a terrible interpretation of the escape from the Wood-Elves stronghold in barrels), a painfully stupid attempt to create a romantic sub-plot, needlessly including characters who don't appear in the books until The Lord of the Rings and then putting them in danger, which we know won't result in anything...there is nothing good about this movie. While Smaug does look pretty good, his portrayal is that of senile nitwit, not the cunning, terrible beast from the book. What could have been a good single film has been ruined by Peter Jackson's desire to make a trilogy. Pass, pass, pass!
2. 47 Ronin: The one word best describing this film: meh. Hampered by the inclusion of Keanu Reeves in full-on sleepy mode, it does boast a pretty good villain (the easy-on-the-eyes Rinko Kikuchi) and some decent action scenes. Of course, they are nothing like the awesome samurai action from any Kurosawa film or Takashi Miike's 13 Assassins. The inclusion of supernatural monsters, witches and demons is weird, but kind of works. There is some laughably bad writing. On a couple of occasions, characters use a Japanese word (the film is in English) and then define the word to characters who would know what it means. Why bother using Japanese at all? And, at one point, Keanu pays a visit to a set and characters right out of Pirates of the Caribbean (and this is not a good thing). The story has little to do with the tale of the 47 Ronin or the historical events that gave rise to it. For that, I would recommend checking out The Revenge of the 47 Ronin, Edo 1703 by Stephen Turnbull). While not horrible, it's just such a mess that I can't recommend it.
3. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: I enjoyed this a lot more than I enjoyed the first film. It looks better (the first had a real "SyFy movie of the week" vibe to it), there aren't any scenes that are particularly painful (the original had such groaners as Peta disguising himself as a rock an the moronic scenes with Katniss spending 35 hours collecting flowers from some dead chick) and the story movies along nicely. There are a few head-scratching moments (the last minute reveal of Philip Seymour Hoffman's character's true loyalties makes no sense) and Jennifer Lawrence seems to have one emotional response to everything (she looks like she's about to cry) but it's still pretty good. Check it out.
4. Thor: The Dark World: I put this on, in the hopes it would help me get some sleep. Success! My full review is here.
5. Ender's Game: I saw this a few months ago in the theater, but had missed the first ten minutes or so. Seeing those extra minutes didn't add much to the film; but, I liked it the first time around and still liked it on this viewing. It's not a great film; but it is a solid science-fiction film, has some neat battle sequences and a good performance from Asa Butterfield as Ender. Check it out.
6. Riddick: This was a cut version of the film (lots of hard-asses saying "freaking"...right...) which may have reduced my enjoyment. But, I didn't like it enough to want to watch it again. It wasn't horrible; but after the last film the decision to give this film a smaller scope - more like Pitch Black - was not a good idea. Writer/Director Twohy needed to amp up the crazy-epic feel of The Chronicles of Riddick not retreat from it. There's some decent action and Vin Diesel is fun to watch; but the movie has such a generic feel that I couldn't get into it. I say check it out since it is entertaining; but don't expect too much.
7. Escape Plan: This starts with a good idea. Sylvester Stallone is a security expert who specializes in escaping from prisons to show their weakness. This idea is crushed under the weight of poor characterization, huge and unnecessary plot holes and a questionable moral tone (more on that here). And everyone, stars included, seem bored with the whole thing. I understand why.
8. Satan's Sadists: Okay, so this wasn't provided by Korean Air. However, it was the best movie I saw on the plane (thanks to my iPhone). Russ Tamblyn is a scuzzy, murderous, nut-job biker, his gang is made up of psychos, druggies, rapists and Regina Carrol (yum!) and he spends the film tearing up a little section of the Great Southwest. Scott Brady is the square jawed hero who eventually wipes out the gang and rescues cute Jacqueline Cole from a fate worse than death...well, it would have involved death too...so he rescued her from that as well. A great exploitation film from Al Adamson. It's on Youtube for the moment, so check it out.

Bonus! Here's Regina Carrol looking all "biker mama"...enjoy.

Valiant Trailer

Pretty neat trailer for an indie steampunkish film Valiant. Apparently, this started as a USC Film School project, then expanded with Kickstarter funding and some help from industry pros. Looks pretty good.

Godzilla TV Spot Shows More Big-G

So, a new TV spot for Godzilla is out. Most of the footage is what we've seen in the trailers, except for a new shot of Godzilla looking very upset about something. It's like the one time I was lost in a mall. A kindly old lady tried to help. "There there, little fella, we'll find you're mommy...where did you last see her?" she said. At which pointed I breathed radioactive fire in her face and proceeded to destroy Cleveland.

I miss my childhood.

Short-Attention Span Review - Insidious 2 (2013)

Insidious 2 is a lackluster sequel to 2010's Insidious. While not exactly revolutionary, Insidious had a nice pace, some interesting ideas and pretty good visuals. It also had a ton of plotholes and a so-so cast; but, it moved along briskly enough and was a pretty fun, occasionally jump-inducing romp.

Insidious 2 has none of the strengths of the original and all of the weaknesses. It is a boring, loud, uninspired mess. More angry ghosts are haunting our family, more time is spent in the gloomy nether world, more pasty faced dead people scream into the camera. There are a few moderately interesting ideas - like contacting the dead with the use of dice with letters on the faces - but most of film just drifts across the screen in an ugly series of either cliched (on no, a ghost jumps out of nowhere at the camera) or boring scenes. People act like idiots to propel the plot, internal rules are inconsistent and the overall plot isn't even that clear...something about transvestite killers and bad parenting.

Sequels are a dicey proposition in the best cases. A sequel of a movie that was "style over substance" is even more of a challenge, since it can only work if a) the creative team ramps up the style or b) they add in some substance. When you bleed out the style and don't add any substance, you wind up with a movie that isn't even a good time waster. Avoid Insidious 2.

New(ish) Trailer - Godzilla (2014)

I go away for a couple of weeks and a new Godzilla trailer gets dropped. And I didn't have an Internet connection at the time, so I couldn't see it RIGHT AWAY!!!!. Because, I really need to get a life...um, I mean, because I have an understandable interest in this latest version of a pop-culture icon. What social ills will the new Godzilla cleverly comment on?

Aw, fuck it...I just want to see cities get stomped on by a big radioactive lizard while the Breaking Bad guy runs around being all emotive.

Anyway, I'm pretty psyched about this movie. Not only does Godzilla look good and the action plentiful, the creative team seems to be treating the subject matter fairly seriously. If the tone gleaned from the trailers is any indication - telling a dramatic, dark story and not as an exercise in bland camp like the 98 US version - then this movie is going to be not only a major hit, but the start of a new franchise of American Godzilla films.

One other cool thing: we get a glimpse of at least other monster (right around 2:17 and 2:20). If you want to see what this creature looks like in toy form, click here.

Poster of the Day - This Island Earth (1955)

I love This Island Earth. It's a colorful, pulpy romp, like the cover of a 40 or 50s sci-fi magazine come to life. Flying saucers, bug eyed monsters, sweet scenes of an alien planet (Metaluna) being bombarded by meteors until it turns into a radioactive sun...not to mention the professor from Gilligan's Island (Russell Johnson) being vaporized and Faith Domergue (It Came from Beneath the Sea, Cult of the Cobra) looking hot as ever. Oh, and Jeff Morrow (The Creature Walks Among Us, The Giant Claw, Kronos) is a slightly bland but serviceable hero.

So, the movie is cool...but that poster is AWESOME!!! Yikes...looks like I had a little too much caffeine. Let me dial my enthusiasm back a bit. The poster is better than puppies and Christmas combined. There, that's a bit more understated, right?.

The poster really pops with action and color. All the highlights of the movie are there. The Metaluna flying saucer and the arrowhead attack ships of their enemies, the Zagons. The meteor blasted surface of Metaluna, as well as a glimpse of the subterranean cities that hold what's left of the population. We even get a tiny Faith Domerque being menaced by a Metaluna mutant...who appears to be firing lasers out of his eyes. And the tag line "Two mortals trapped in outer space...challenging the unearthly furies of an outlaw planet gone mad!" is great. It's not really accurate - Metaluna isn't an "outlaw" planet and even if they were, I'm not sure how planet can go "mad" - but still lets you know that our heroes are going to be thrown into the deep end of the intergalactic pool.

There are a few oddities. We have Big Faith (left) and Small Faith (right), as well as Big Jeff (left) and Small Jeff (in one of the tubes in the lower right hand corner). I'm not sure if having Faith and Jeff in 50s casual looking bored and shocked (respectively) adds much, although Faith's sweater dress stretching bosom doesn't hurt. The book icon in the lower left corner is an interesting feature. No mention is made of the author, Raymond F. Jones. So, we know it's based on a novel; but would that really entice anyone into seeing the film? But these are minor quibbles about an otherwise stunning work of cinematic art, a bright and kinetic come-on for the film. Unlike some of its contemporaries, where the poster promised more than was on-screen (I'm looking at you Invasion of the Saucer-Men) the film delivers. The poster promises high adventure and, after a slow buildup in the first act, the movie takes off and becomes exactly that.

This is a great image for a great movie.

Podcasts To Check Out

While I'm working on episode one or my own podcast (as well as episode of one of my video reviews...coming very soon) I have one that Ive been listening to pretty heavily lately. Post Atomic Horror is a neat, often amusing look at the various incarnation of Star Trek on the big and little screen. Right now, hosts Ron Watt and Matt Rowbotham are just getting into season three of DS9, my favorite of the Trek series.

The usual format is to review two episodes per 40 - 60 minute podcast. The hosts have a good sense of humor, are pretty knowledgeable about Trek and keep the show moving. Check it out.

Technology Betrays Me

So, I can't sleep. Rather than lay in bed contemplating life (certain to be a depressing exercise) or watch porn documentaries on Jesus and puppies, I decided to log into Mechanical Turk and make a couple of bucks...or cents, which is more accurate. However, Mechanical Turk does pay for my DVDs, so it's all good. Except...Amazon is being a pain and won't let me choose a job (or HITs, as we Turkonauts...Turkians...Turkoids...refer to them). Fuuuuu!!!!!!!!

I guess I'll have to watch porn puppy Jesus documentaries. Whatever happens, I will irrationally blame Amazon. My moral degeneration due to porn overload excessive Jesus puppies is on your head, Jeff Bezos.

Movie Logic - Escape Plan (2013) - Some Spoilers

Finally back from my trip to Indonesia and Singapore and ready to blog like a...well, blogger. One thing flying half-way across the globe affords is time to watch movies. Korean Airlines makes it easy by offering scads of free in-flight movies. One of them was the Stallone/Schwarzenegger vehicle Escape Plan. Conceptually, it isn't a bad idea for a film. Stallone is a security professional who specializes in breaking out of prisons, demonstrating their weakness. He is hired to test the security of a new "black prison" run by a private corporation working with a number of governments. Of course, nothing goes as planned. In the end, Stallone and Schwarzenegger (playing an ill-defined economic terrorist) manage to escape.

The problem isn't so much a logical one - although the film has a bunch of those - but a moral one. While Stallone is being inappropriately held, there's no indication that Schwarzenegger's character is anything but a criminal. The other inmate who helps them escape - Faran Tahir playing Muslim drug-lord Javed - is a certified dirtbag. During their escape, numerous guards are killed, men who's only "crime" is to work for a private prison company. Yes, there are a couple of douche-bags working for the prison, including the warden. However, as the audience, we are asked to cheer on a couple of criminals (Schwarzenegger and Tahir) as they kill prison guards.

This is a moral trend in films, usually action movies, in which cops, soldiers and other "good guys" are set up as cannon fodder for the "heroes" to mow down. In Goldeneye for example, scores of Russian soldiers are killed by Bond. These men are not depicted as being corrupt or secretly working for the forces of evil; they are just soldiers doing their duty. Modern espionage movies often show people working for the CIA (or some CIA stand-in) being killed by the heroes (like Knight and Day). They usually are operating under orders from the villain or some corrupt superior; but, they aren't "bad guys" in the usual sense.

I don't want to go too far with this. You could look at Star Wars and say that Stormtroopers are just average soldiers working for the legitimate galactic government against a group of terrorists...but, there is something to be said for guilt by association. If you work for evil fuckers, some of that rubs off. But, being a guard in a prison - even one that is run "off-the-books" so to speak - is not evil. And, helping criminals escape - as Stallone does - is not a heroic thing to do.

Complex or ambiguous morals are fine in fiction (since that is a reflection of reality). However, it is not entertaining to see some smirking "hero" kill a bunch of guys who are doing something that most people would support; like keeping terrorists off the streets.