Zombie-A-Thon #6 - Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) - With Spawnpoint Spoilers

Resident Evil movies are schlock. They are background noise. They are hot chicks kicking monster ass and lots of gunfire. They are heaving mounds of cliches and stereotypes, bad writing and terrible acting.

I do love them so. I'm going to skip the first one - seen it too many times - and head into Resident Evil: Apocalypse in which undead, flesh-eating freaks learn to love again.

Synopsis

Set immediately after the first film, Apocalypse follows a small group of survivors as they try to escape zombie infested Raccoon City. Introduced to the series are Jill Valentine (uber-hottie Sienna Guillory), Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr who was pretty good in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns) and Mike Epps as LJ Wade. There are some other people...but we do need cannon fodder, right?

When the film starts, the city is already being overrun. The police are overwhelmed and the citizens are try to flee through checkpoints set up by the Umbrella Corporation, makers of fine viral apocalypses. The local Umbrella head honcho sees the incident as a great place to test two projects related to the T-virus (the zombie disease). Project Alice (Milla Jovovich as a super-powered killing machine and survivor of the first film, Alice) and Project Nemesis, a massive mutant with flesh stapled over his eyes (why?) and a Gatling gun. Valentine is a Raccoon City cop, Olivera an Umbrella commando stuck in the city with a dwindling squad of soldiers and LJ is the "urban" comic relief. Disposable characters include Sandrine Holt as wannabe ace report Terri Morales, Jared Harris as Umbrella sci-guy Charles Ashford and Sophie Vavasseur as his little daughter, Angela Ashford. The last character is important because she is left in the city during the evacuation and her father contacts our motley collection heroes and survivors and offers them a deal; find his daughter and he can get them out of the doomed city.

Zombie mayhem ensues, super-Milla kicks all kinds of butt, cannon fodder gets...foddered...mutant monster mayhem whittles down our plucky band, the bad guys eventually get theirs and the city is nuked. Boom.

Analysis

A Licker. Isn't he cute?

I'm not sure how you really review a film like this. The cast isn't very good; but, given the roles as written, even Olivier would have trouble bringing them to life. Milla makes a serviceable action heroine; if nothing else, she looks good in battle fashion garb and seems to be enjoying herself. The plot is so basic that it's hard to pick apart. Sure, physics are ignored, coincidence trumps logic, questions like "why is a corporation handling this and not the US Army?" aren't even asked...well, I guess there is a lot to pick at; but, you are essentially working with video game logic here. Crawl through a level, shoot the mooks, find the boss, kill it, repeat until you get to the big boss at the end of the game. Given that the movie series is based on a video game series, this is to be expected.

Jill Valentine dressed for the end of the world.

There are some neat scenes. Milla blowing up a mutant monster with a flying motorcycle in a church is one. The death of Morales at the hands and teeth of a pack of hungry zombie school kids is also pretty disturbing. There are many that don't work as well: random slow-motion shots, a graveyard with cinematic fog (as in, there's only fog in the cemetery because it looks "scarey"), ill-advised - and not funny - comic relief from the LJ. A fire blanket protects a wearer from a massive explosion. And so on.

While director Alexander Witt is no Gareth Evans (The Raid) he's pretty good at filming action sequences. Since the movie is, basically, nothing but action scenes, this is a good thing. He would later go on to do a lot of second unit work on films like Casino Royale and X-Men: First Class. Sound effects are thunderous - lots of explosions and gunshots, with a heavy metal/bombastic action score filling blasting through most of the film. Dialogue is a mix of tough guy cliches and the kind of exposition you'd find in a video game cut-scene. While the make-up effects are pretty good, the CGI for the Lickers is cartoonish and there is surprising lack of blood in the film. While not as gore free as, say, World War Z you see a lot more graphic violence in an average episode of The Walking Dead. While gore doesn't make a movie, it's absence in a zombie gunfest is noticeable.

Verdict

This is the kind of movie that, if it had been released in 1974 instead of 2004, would've been great to see at a drive-in, albeit with the inclusion of a shower scene. Drive-in movies always need a shower scene. It's loud and dumb, but mostly fun. Check it out.

Here is the trailer.

Crack The Spine: A Semi-Regular Book Review - Detroit: An American Autopsy

I read a lot of books. So, why not share my opinions with the world on what I think you should read. Because, I'm generous that way.

First up, Detroit: An American Autopsy (click to buy from Amazon) by Charlie LeDuff. The book looks at the decline of Detroit, focusing on the lives of a number of citizens, police and firemen, government officials (mostly in the role of villains) and the author's family. It is pretty good. I like the author's style, very engaging and informative, reflecting his years in print media. I also found his stories of both corruption and courage to be fascinating. Finally, as a Detroit native who witnessed some of the events that led to the current state of the city, there was a personal angle that I have to acknowledge.

However, the book does have a few failings, the most glaring the failure to fully realize either the title ("an autopsy") or one of the premises, that Detroit's fate is potentially that of America. On the first point, "autopsy" to me implies a more systematic exploration of the trends and decisions that led to the present day. While the author does include some background on the city's history, more time is spent writing about family events and anecdotal tales of corruption and people trying their best to get by. A better title would have been "Detroit: A Viewing" or "Detroit: A Wake."

As for the second, more serious thematic failing, the author doesn't do a good job of synching up the problems in Detroit with those of the country. The most obvious one - the economic shifts of the last 40 years and the decline in manufacturing employment - is touched on; but is also one that has been gone over so many times that it seems like rote repetition. The more provocative one - trying to tie the corruption in the city government to a larger lose of confidence in the America system - is not well-developed and, in fact, the author offers counter-indications of this. I'm thinking specifically of the funeral of a fireman, in which the Detroit firemen show up in their shabby gear and the men from surrounding suburbs and other cities show up in new gear. This would seem to indicate "the system" is working elsewhere, just not Detroit. I think the case could be made that Detroit is a "canary in the coal mine" for America; I just don't think the author makes it.

Even with those criticisms, I still enjoyed the book...if one can actually be said to enjoy a book that is a record of the death rattle of a city.

Ultron Gets A Face

Entertainment Weekly has some new images from Avengers: Age of Ultron (click here). They also have an image of everyone's favorite genocidal robot on the cover of this week's issue. Here it is:

Not bad. Here are a couple of images of Ultron from over the years.

And, finally, Ultron taking the form of Janet Van Dyne aka The Wasp...using Tony Stark's body and Iron Man armor as raw material. Um...ewww. Well, at least she has nice robot boobies.

Anyway, Ultron looks pretty sweet, at least as far as the design is concerned.

Marvel Announces Female Thor

The new Thor.

Ah, Loki, you sexy minx.

Marvel announced that Thor is undergoing a sex change. Well, not exactly. However, there will be a new Thor and she is...well, a she. Throughout Thor's long comic book history, there have been other wielders of Mjolnir, Thor's magic hammer. And, the Norse gods have had sex changes before. Remember hot female Loki (which has led to some great cosplay)? Changing who wields the hammer and who bears the title 'Thor' can work. The biggest danger is that this is just a stunt. The current Thor is still going to be around, using some other magic beat-down stick. Will this just be an excuse for Marvel to "shake things up" only to back off later and Dude Thor take back his hammer?

Current Thor writer Jason Aaron had this to say about the new character, “This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the Thor of the Marvel Universe.” Okay, that seems pretty clear. However, Marvel did something like this recently with Spider-Man, when they had the mind of Doctor Octopus take over Peter Parker's body, becoming the Superior Spider-Man. It was a bad idea to begin with, one that was recently reversed. And we all know what happens when superheroes "die" only to be resurrected later (Jena Grey, Superman, Captain America, etc.). However, as long as the change leads to interesting stories, then I'm all for it.

That's the real trick, isn't it; to write compelling stories. To create characters who you can get invested in. to not just make a change for the sake of change. When Steve Rogers (Captain America) was killed at the end of the 'Civil War' no one thought it would be permanent. And, amazingly enough...it wasn't. Characters can be reintroduced successfully; Ed Brubaker's "Resurrection" off Bucky Barnes is a great example of this. However, a storyline that lead to a major character death or some other significant change (like a new, female Thor...or just a new permanent Thor, period) have the odor of a gimmick about them.

My fave Lady Loki cosplay.

On a side note, could this have repercussions in Marvel's cinematic universe? Eventually, the current crop of actors will move on to other things. We may be seeing a new Iron Man soon, if Robert Downing decides to eventually reject the dump trucks of money that Marvel/Disney is backing up to his lawn. Could we eventually see a chick Thor on the big screen? And if so, who'd make a good Thorette? Maybe Jaimie Alexander could trade her sword for a hammer. Check back later for a few heavily Photoshopped ideas!

New Fantastic Four Movie Not Based On A Comic Story

The story going around Interwebs is that the new Fantastic Four movie won't have a story based on anything from the comics. Here is a few quotes from Kate Mara (Sue Storm aka The Invisible Woman);

I've never been a fan of comics, I've never actually read one. I was going to for this movie but the director said it wasn't necessary. Well, actually he told us that we shouldn't do it because the plot won't be based on any history of anything already published. So I chose to follow his instructions. The one fact is I am a fan of comic book movies, so it's very exciting to be part of a movie like this.

I think it a little odd that the director wouldn't want an actor to read some of the source material to get a feel for how the character has been presented, even if only to show how not to portray that character. The creative team on the new FF film is apparently doing everything they can to distance themselves from the comics. Which begs the question; why bother? Why not just make an original superhero movie? Call it The Terrific Tetralogy and do your own thing.

Of course, the reason is name recognition. It doesn't appear that anyone involved has much respect or interest in the source material. This is looking more and more like another Emmerich Godzilla; an adaptation that fails to understand what makes the source materiel popular and has an underlying contempt for it.

Of course, this may prove to be wrong. It may be that making a Fantastic Four movie which follows the comics in name only is the right way to go; but I have my doubts.

Source: Jo Blo

New Issue Of Far Horizons Out

Like zombies? If so, check out the all-new, all-zombie issue of the Far Horizons e-mag. This issue includes three stories by yours truly. Anyway, check the issue out for a lot of interesting and entertaining takes on the undead flesh-munchers.

American Horror Story Teaser

There's a teaser for the next season of American Horror Story (sub-titled Freak Show) out that is appropriately creepy. Love the series, love the concept and love the weirdness of the teaser. Check it out below.

Cinema Sins Does Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

With the upcoming release of Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, CinemaSins is checking out Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Final tally: 102.

Check it out.

Zombie-A-Thon #5 - Kolchak: The Night Stalker - The Zombie (Aired: September 20, 1974) - With Voodoo Spoilers

I love Kolchak: The Night Stalker. I first saw the series as kid and immediately identified with Darren McGavin's acerbic, stubborn, tough-minded but not very likeable reporter, Carl Kolchak. Introduced in 1972 in the TV movie The Night Stalker (followed by The Night Strangler in 1973) the series followed his adventures as he discovered the horrors that lurk in the shadows of modern America. Add to that a collection of quirky supporting characters, creative (if not always successful) takes on classic monsters and some clever scripts and you had a pretty neat show.

Of course, you also had some shoddy looking effects and you had to believe that Kolchak managed to find a new monster every week, one that he would have to stop, because the authorities were all either bumbling fools or dedicated to keeping the public from knowing just how strange the world really was.

Synopsis

Being a zombie may cause a severe skin rash.

Mob members are being killed in Chicago by having their spines snapped. Kolchak discovers a link between the dead men and a recently killed Haitian criminal. Turns out, the dead man's grandmother is a Voodoo priestess. She revived him to take revenge on the men who had a hand in his death. Kolchak becomes a target after he gets too close to the truth and has to fight the undead killing machine in an auto graveyard. Will our intrepid reporter prevail?

Analysis

This is one of the best Kolchak episodes. It features clever writing, good acting from the leads, as well as from the supporting cast (including Antonio Fargas and Scatman Crothers) and some creepy visuals. The makeup for the zombie is effective, particularly a scene during the climax, in which the zombie sits up, his full body make-up glistening wetly. The episode also features some of the show, with authorities who are willfully ignorant, a gritty urban vibe and a monster that is an interesting twist on a legendary creature.

Verdict

While not all episodes of Kolchak were great, this one is. Check it out.

Neat Star Wars Fan Flick

This is cool Star Wars fan film showing Tie fighters, Imperial Shuttles, AT-ATs, AT-STs, Stormtroopers, a Star Destroyer, A force field generator and even a partially-built Death Star all around Germany's Frankfurt International Airport. Cool stuff. Check it out.